Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
