I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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