Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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