he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
