woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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