The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
