Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
