So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
