Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
