I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
