i permit you to call me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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