So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
