apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
