I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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