i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
