oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
