I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's shark week go big or go home
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
