Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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