she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
