and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
