I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
