She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
