quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
