I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
