i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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