Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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