Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
