next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
