I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
