So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
