We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
