I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
