therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
