so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
