I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
