Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
