Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
