cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
