its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
