I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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