All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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