Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter

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(913): View more from Kansas

You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

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(912): View more from Georgia

She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.

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(631): View more from New York

if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

(516): View more from New York

.org?

(631): View more from New York

yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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(503): View more from Oregon

In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.

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