He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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