looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
