omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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