so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
