so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
