You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
