gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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