My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
